Yeah, I know

It's been a while.  A long while. I've been busy....with lots of grief and my new job.  Let's take a run down of the bad first.

The Bad

1. My mother-in-law passed away suddenly in July
2. My boy Bandit passed away suddenly in October
3. My cousin passed away suddenly in November
4. A dear friend of my family is currently in a coma

Yep, that's right. When I said lots of grief I meant LOTS of grief. Needless to say, 2013 has been a very difficult year....very difficult.  My mother-in-law's passing was both sad and shocking to us all.  Yes, she was sick, but I don't think any of us new how sick she really was.  We had a great Fourth of July weekend with her.  That would be the last weekend my husband, daughter and I would have with her.  She was so happy.  For the first time since Kevin & I have been together, I heard her talk about him the way she did about her other two kids.  She talked about Kevin being her "baby."  Yes, they are all her "babies" but he IS her baby. The youngest, the one she spent countless hours in the hospital with tending to his brain tumor and numerous surgeries.  

I'm not going to lie. Her and my relationship was strained at times. I think this is mostly because her and I were more alike than we ever cared to recognized.  We both love Kevin so much and wanted nothing but the best for him & Faith that we probably couldn't compete.  

But I respected her. I loved her and probably should have told her that.  She is an angel now and I know that she is looking down on us, but we still miss her terribly.  She was our rock, she made the holidays what they are for us and we don't like it without here.  My husband is a strong man, but as we sat in the funeral home listening to his father's beautiful speech about the woman he loved so dearly, I held his [Kevin's] hand and let him weep like a son should do when his mother isn't there to take care of him anymore.  He still has his moments,reminiscing about all the fabulous times we had with her, his memories of them growing up...he breaking her arm....yes he did that, and still feels bad for it happening...he was quite a hellion!   Kevin sister is doing a great job taking over the "Nana" role, and I can't imagine how hard it is for her to do that.  She shouldn't have to.  She is still too young. We are still to young to be without her.  

Rather than making this a longer post than this already is, I will update you on the next few bad things tomorrow.

I will leave this post with this.  Don't forget to hug your loved ones as often as you can.  You never know when it will be the last time you will see them in this life again.  One regret my husband has is not saying "Mom, I love you" enough.  Do it today. Do it now.

Nana we miss you!